If you don’t like the weather ....

Maybe it’s the deep-seated New England Puritan ethic that keeps we sports fanatics in the great northeast from truly enjoying any good that comes our way.

Maybe it’s because, as our predecessors aboard the Mayflower thought, our true happiness will come in the next life.

But the problem is, I’m not a Puritan, and I like to enjoy things once in a while. And I think I can speak for 99.9 percent of the rabid Boston-area sports fans as well.

Yet, there is usually something that keeps us from enjoying the moment for much more than that — a moment.

This was the case when I was a lad dying with the Red Sox, Bruins and Patriots much more often than not.

It seems a new millennium hasn’t changed that seemingly Puritan hex.

When the Patriots won its first Super Bowl ever, the afterglow lasted only as long as it took for Spygate to rear its ugly head. The next two were equally “suspicious.”

When the Red Sox finally ended an 89-year drought and won the whole shebang in 2004, we got to revel in the moment only until the team unraveled because of departing free agents, most notably when fan-favorite Johnny Damon ended up in pinstripes and Pedro trekked to the other side of Manhattan to the Mets. 

I wonder if New York even knows what a Puritan is.

Add to that suspicions of “juicing,” and people who think like me get an uneasy feeling about the great joy of being the best for a year. There are some for whom things like that don’t matter. I wish I could feel like that.

Then the Pats win a fourth Super Bowl and it’s tainted even before it starts — all because of air pressure. Air pressure of all things! Tell me there isn’t a supernatural force at work here.

But I think the ultimate fun-kill moment came last week when it was leaked that 15-year Red Sox TV broadcaster Don Orsillo, a home-grown New Englander with whom most of Red Sox Nation considered family, was not going to be welcomed back to the broadcast booth next season because the Red Sox airwaves needed to be “re-engergized.”

There are far more Orsillo fans than detractors and his forced exodus makes no sense, other than it keeps we New Englanders from being too happy.

Orsillo has handled this with all the class the man has displayed over the last decade-and-a-half. He’s been tight-lipped with a response, even though you know he has to be crushed.

He’s handled subsequent broadcasts since the bombshell news as though nothing has happened.

Make no mistake, Don Orsillo will be missed by thousands next season.

There’s a saying up in this neck of the woods: “If you don’t like the weather, just wait a minute.” Add to that, “If you’re a happy Boston sports fan, wait a minute.”

If only the Mayflower had landed on Staten Island!


© 2019 The Anchor and Anchor Publishing    †    Fall River, Massachusetts