When I asked my friend Lori, mother of nine, if she gets a lot of negative comments about the size of her family, I imagined she would say yes. But she surprised me by her answer. Though she certainly gets the odd rude remark, she definitely hears a lot more positive than negative responses from people when they meet her family. Usually the first reaction is shock. “Wow!” But that’s often followed by something supportive like: “OK … Good for you.” The Milligans experienced the warmest reaction to their big family during their vacation to Quebec, Canada. All kinds of people stopped them in the street with exuberant exclamations of delight at the sight of their dozen kids. “You don’t see families this big anymore, but I grew up in one just like yours.” In today’s high-powered world, large families seem to be something of the past: impractical both financially and organizationally. Yet even now there are a number of courageous couples who are choosing to be lavishly generous in the number of children they bring into the world as sons and daughters of God. They want to cooperate with God’s creative hand. They’re also convinced of the perennial value of large families, which transcends times and cultures. For one, big families often experience a strong identity that binds the members together and helps them rise above the temptation to give into a wayward lifestyle. Margaret Mullan has three brothers and six sisters. She says they’re her best friends. They kept her from making some bad choices when she reached college. She remembers calling her sister, appalled at the high number of students who were doing drugs. “Mullans don’t do drugs, right?” Her sister answered firmly: “Right, Margaret, Mullans don’t do drugs.” That affirmation of who she was, that family-identity was enough to keep her on the right track. People from big families also have singular opportunities to learn how to get along with others. They experience first-hand how different are guys from girls, something that will serve them well in future relationships and their own marriage. And there’s usually the whole gamut of temperament types: passionate, choleric, phlegmatic and sanguine. Additionally, someone with an artistic personality will often show up in big families. Misunderstanding, fiery disagreements and fist-fights are often part and parcel of that learning to understand, accept and get-along with the others. But so is saying you’re sorry and experiencing forgiveness. The love that bonds brothers and sisters together helps them get over their multiple differences. A sign of that is the fierce loyalty someone will show for a sibling. There’s the odd sense that you have the full right to trounce on him or her, but heaven help anyone from outside the family who dares to attack them. “Survival skills” are another talent gained from growing up in a large family. You learn quickly that you’re not number one. Most of the time you have to wait your turn and let others go first. You learn that losing a fight or a game isn’t the end of the world. Neither is it the end of the world to end up with the smallest piece of cake. You can dish it out and you can take a lot, thanks to all those poundings and merciless teasing you received from your siblings. Parenting skills are also a plus. You learn how to hold a baby, cajole it to stop crying, change a diaper and play with kids — not bad when the time comes to start your own family. As the children grow older, they often value their family ties even more. It’s wonderful to have so many people you can turn to for support and fun. They’ll still let you know when they think you’re making a bad choice and be there when you fall. A sign of the worth of large families comes from the testimony of many people who grew up in them: though surely they can recall difficulties and sacrifices coming from being so many, they wouldn’t trade their families for anything. Joan Kingsland, a consecrated woman of Regnum Christi, teaches theology at Mater Ecclesiae College in Greenville, R.I.