When a happily married couple is asked about their relationship, they can often recall the little details of the moments when they met, their time of dating and engagement, and their wedding day. Sometimes, however, they are not as quick to recall the countless moments of their married life for which those previous years prepared them. When they reflect on their marriage itself it takes more effort, because there are so many great memories that it is hard for them to describe it in a way that one can grasp the immensity and beauty of it.
This is a similar experience for me as a priest. Sometimes when giving vocation talks I can call to mind the detailed moments of when the awareness of God’s call began, intensified, or came to profound clarity. But when speaking about my life as a priest, it is harder to convey in words the experiences God has drawn me into and how Christ used them to bring others to him.
Like joyful married couples, a priest has countless joys along with many crosses. Though the crosses are real, they never come close to outweighing the joys one experiences when doing God’s will. In fact, when the crosses are responded to with faith and offered to Our Lord, they purify the soul and intensify the capacity to love.
Some of the daily crosses for a priest are: meeting people who are indifferent about the faith or angry with the Church; hearing people blame priests for every problem in the Church, when many times their anger comes more from a troubled conscious than some comment their priest made to them; or hearing the jokes about going to confession that people feel they have to make whenever they see a priest.
Then there are the unique crosses that stand out in my mind: burying a baby and knowing that only the message of faith will bring the baby’s parents comfort in the future; or the time a group of men drove up to a priest friend of mine and I as we were walking in Boston and spat at us; or the young ladies in New Bedford (who I never laid eyes on before) who decided to make some very vulgar comments at me as I was waiting at in intersection (on Easter of all days); or the cross of being rejected by a brother priest.
Even with those crosses, however, the joys are infinitely greater. Most of the supernatural joys of being a priest are humbling as well, because they come from just celebrating the sacraments as the Church asks the priests to offer them — and it is knowing it is not me who gives the profound experience but Christ through the sacrament.
Offering the Mass is my greatest joy in life; being God’s instrument of mercy in the sacrament of reconciliation is a close second. Some of the blessed moments I have experienced have occurred when, after offering the Mass, someone leaves telling me they had an experience of truly knowing Christ was present in the Eucharist; the countless times after hearing people’s confessions and giving absolution that I could sense an incredible peace overwhelm them, especially those who had been away from Our Lord for so many years; the memories of anointing people while tears were streaming down their faces because they knew Christ was with them helping them not to be afraid to face their grave illness; those moments of being present to people when they were taking their last breath, and though there was sadness for the family, they were at peace because you were there to help send the soul onward to God; the memories of witnessing the marriage of a couple that truly grasps that marriage is a vocation and they desire to let God lead them in their love; the many joys of baptizing someone and knowing God’s life is poured into them, especially when having the opportunity to baptize several nephews and nieces; the joyful occasions of preparing people to receive the sacrament of confirmation and seeing how they really grasp what it means to ask for the Gifts of the Holy Spirit; and lastly, the great opportunities to assist at priestly ordinations and be able to be the one who calls the newly-ordained priest for the first time in his life “Father.”
There are also the joys of learning more deeply how to be a spiritual father to others; of preaching, teaching, and forming people in their faith; of doing spiritual direction; of becoming a part of the lives of families; of helping someone to hear God’s call; of working with youth in the parish or school; of being able to serve the poor; of visiting the sick; of ministering to the men and women in jail; of chatting with a stranger in unexpected places and helping them with their problems, knowing they came up to me simply because I was a priest.
I do not know why God called me to be a priest of Jesus Christ, but he did, and I am forever grateful to God for such an extraordinary gift.
Father Cook was ordained in 2001 and is the assistant director of Vocations for the Diocese of Fall River as well as chaplain at Coyle and Cassidy High School and part-time chaplain at Morton Hospital, both in Taunton.